19 Ways You Make Yourself A Dislikeable Person
Admitting your faults isn’t a weakness – it’s a strength. Having your weaknesses pointed out isn’t a slur on your character – it’s an opportunity to improve your life. ~ James A. Owen
Ever wondered why you find it so hard to get along with other people? Or why you just can’t grow to like yourself? Chances are that you are actually the instigator of your own trouble rather than other people. It’s hard to face up to isn’t it? But the less aware you are of yourself and the less in touch you are with your subconscious mind, the more likely you’ll make yourself an ugly and dislikeable person out of simple ignorance and lack of insight.
According to author of “The Power of your Subconscious Mind” Joseph Murphy, over 90 percent of our mental life is subconscious. This means that in essence, most of the things we think, feel, do and say we are actually consciously unaware of. And because we are largely unaware of many of the ugly, irritating and downright offensive things we say and do, it’s no wonder that many of us have an aptitude for making more enemies than friends, and struggle with serious self-esteem issues.
As Murphy goes on to say:
All evil comes from man’s darkened understanding, from his ignorance, from his false interpretation of life, and from his misuse of his subconscious mind.
19 Universal Faults
The following list was constructed using a variety of traits that I have observed both within myself on my path of Involution, and in others during every day life. Determining what ugly and dislikeable traits you have is simply a matter of developing introspection and self-awareness. Like anything worthy in life, this is a slow, laborious but ultimately valuable process.
1. Conversational Narcissism
All conversations you have with other people are centered 99% of the time around none other than you. Any attempt the other person makes to discuss themselves is actively or passively ignored and discouraged.
2. Chronic Bitching
… or, constantly criticizing and ridiculing other people. Enjoyable and good-natured conversations with such a person are not only futile, but also an utter waste of time.
The self-pitying person is constantly portraying themselves as the “victim” of a person, people or circumstance. They delight in their self-imposed misery, and crave the sympathy of others constantly.
This unsavory trait creates a petty and small-minded person. Interactions with narrow-minded people are usually prefaced with scorn and cynicism, followed by fanatical arguing.
Approval-seekers crave for acceptance. They were the teacher’s pets of primary school, and the lackeys of high school and adult life. They like kissing up to people as a side occupation, and lack the self-confidence to stand on their own two feet. This is usually a sign of low self-esteem.
6. Poor Posture
Body language studies have shown that bad posture is directly linked to low self-worth and self-esteem. Poor posture creates an unflattering image because it signifies a lack of confidence, belief in, and respect of oneself.
7. Chronic Swearing
Punctuating every sentence you say with a “f**k!” or a “s**t!” – and all of their derivatives – tends to come across as being irritating, ugly, unintelligent and unimaginative.
8. Talking Over/Interrupting People
This is pretty self-explanatory. Talking over and interrupting people is rarely noticed by the perpetrator, but always noticed and noted by the recipient. This ugly habit basically shows the person on the other end that what you have to say is more interesting or important than what the other person has to say.
9. Turning Everything into a Debate
A big ego leads to continuous arguments. This is an ugly habit because you can never feel open or at ease with an argumentative person.
10. Too Much Negativity
Pessimism, sarcasm and skepticism; traits that are OK in small amounts, but depressing and tiresome in large amounts.
11. Too Much Positivity
Nice in relevant/pertinent amounts, but sickening and nauseating in large amounts.
12. Lapsing into Monologues
No one likes a sermon, or a life story. Unfortunately, many of us don’t realize that other people aren’t as enthusiastic about our lives, or a certain topic of conversation, than we are.
13. Acting Holier-Than-Thou
Moralizing and sanctimonious behavior that positions you as nicer, better and, well, holier is really quite an abhorrent personality trait. Showing off your piety and virtuousness is nauseating and offensive.
Whether it’s as a bohemian, punk or gangster, going out of your way to adopt the lifestyle, habits, and language of certain subcultural groups is an excellent way to make yourself dislikeable very quickly.
15. Not Making Eye-Contact
Body language studies show that holding little eye-contact in conversations is a sign of deception, low self-confidence or disinterest – and all 3 traits don’t bode well for you inter-personally.
16. Constant Whining
You don’t have this, she didn’t give you that, he didn’t do this, they failed to achieve that. Complainers tend to nitpick their lives for disappointments and problems, believing that the world should be handed to them on perfectly color-coordinated platters.
Obsessiveness, paranoia, anxiety … neurotic people are generally phobic and highly-strung individuals with control issues. Take it from a neurotic person: this mental complex detrimentally affects your connections with other people pretty badly, unless you become conscious of it.
I currently have a next door neighbor who loves to boast about his job promotions, all the properties he owns, and how much money he makes. Don’t mistake pride in oneself and ones achievements for simple insensitive arrogance. While celebrating your accomplishments is nice and healthy, in excess it points to deeper insecurity and self-worth issues. It also really ticks people off.
No, this isn’t a reference to how attractive you look or not with glasses, but rather refers to the inability to see things from the perspective of another person. Short-sightedness is usually a product of egocentricity, where all we are concerned with is ourselves, our needs and our desires. When we fail to put ourselves in the shoes of others, we create many misunderstandings, fights, and upsets. Not everyone is naturally empathetic, but it is a life skill that is essential to develop if we ever hope to be considerate, thoughtful and compassionate people.
Have you observed any other horrendous habits or character traits that make a dislikeable person? Feel free to add them below in the discussion area!
I create, I share, I teach, I mentor and I write because it is what my soul tells me to do. I don’t consider myself to be perfect or complete, but I do consider myself to be determined: a warrior, voyager and healer in progress. Like you I make mistakes, I feel vulnerable and fragile – but I work to accept these and hope to help you do the same, to reclaim that powerful, earthshaking wholeness deep inside. [More…][Follow on Facebook…][Books by Aletheia Luna…]